Group Therapy

A Sitcom
by Patrick Junkroski
WGA Reg. # 962243

Synopsis

What does it take to become a well-known rock band? Every year, countless garage bands — and even working bands — form and fall apart before they’ve even made their first trip to the recording studio. The tumblers must align just right to unlock whatever it is that makes a successful group. The personalities must meld. The musical vision must be the same. The players must be of the same caliber. And it doesn't hurt if they have some degree of physical appeal.

Now, what if a band had most of those things going for it? What if the musical vision was the same? What if everyone in the band had passable, if not appreciable, musical ability? What if they were good-looking and wrote catchy songs?

What if they all just hated each other?

GROUP THERAPY follows the lives of four musicians in just such a quandary. Their band, Square One, is doing great on their local scene. They’ve even traveled around a bit and recorded an original that they try to hock at their gigs. But the work is becoming a grind, and the band members are continually irritated by one another’s idiosyncrasies. On the very night of what could be their final gig together, their exasperated manager rushes in to tell them their original has been getting airplay in Miami. A well-known record company wants to meet with them, and it's possible they'll be signed if they can just keep it together. She orders them to go to group therapy with an old college friend of hers.

Each episode of this show will be divided into two parts. The first part features the band on the road trying to promote their first song while writing new songs for the rest of the album. The second part shows the band in group therapy airing their complaints about each other. Either portion could also follow individual band members' lives.

Marketability Factors

There are three primary ways that GROUP THERAPY can stay popular and relevant for the long term.

First, the music must be marketable. Just as the music of EMPIRE is relevant to current rap audiences or the music of THE MONKEES was relevant in its time, so must be the pop music of GROUP THERAPY. Hiring a variety of talented, dedicated, and prolific composers will ensure that the band rings true with a younger audience. Lyrics have to be topical whenever possible, and the instrumentation of the band (guitar, keys, drums and bass) is a classic structure suited to a variety of styles from pop to rap to world beat to grunge. This would help create a broader appeal.

Second, the band will be working on an album’s worth of material while promoting their first hit song. Performing a new song every two or three weeks will keep it fresh and interesting. People will want to see what’s next musically, especially if the music reflects the personality changes occurring in the cast as they move through therapy toward their goal of fame.

Third, at the end of a season, an album’s worth of material will have been compiled. Relying on the success of the series, this album should be released in time for summer vacation.

Beyond those three factors, the characters themselves are compelling enough to keep people watching. Tensions between the characters could take years to resolve fully. Groupies and girlfriends (and the sheer number of odd people one meets as a musician) provide a rich stream of possibilities for cameos and guest appearances.

Finally, the telling of the story in two parts creates a recognizable format for the audience. Part of the show is on the road, in the studio, or following the characters’ lives individually. The rest of the show is spent in therapy. Maintaining the two-part structure offers a unique possibility to have two shows in one, a glimpse into the dual life so many celebrities lead.

The Characters

Simp Collins is a thin white male in his early twenties with bristly blonde hair. Since his early teen years, he has devoted his life to “making it” in music. He is irrationally concerned that he’s getting too old to get signed, and his worst nightmare is that he’ll still be playing in bars at age 30. This obsession drives him to spend an inordinate amount of time singing, songwriting and playing guitar. He finds potential lyrics in everything – the nightly news, football rosters, cereal box ingredients. The band he leads does not live up to his standard of serious musicianship, and as a result, the ambition he admires in himself is seen as pure ego by his band mates. Simp’s parents never told him where his name came from.

John Paul (“JP") Lattimer is likewise a tall, thin man, three or four years older than Simp. He came from a stable, loving home, and has an MBA from a good school. He’s excited about the band, but is not betting his life on its success. J.P. fancies himself a bit above the others, cerebrally speaking, and never misses an opportunity to toss his college education in their faces with obscure literary or historical references. It’s very likely that J.P. worked but didn’t make it in the business world for some reason, leading him to try his hand in music. He plays keyboards, but can switch to rhythm guitar when needed.

Troy Herman has shocking blue eyes that contrast with his black hair. Like many drummers, he’s what’s known as a “gearhead”. He knows the make and model of every kit that every famous drummer has used in the past fifty years, and is constantly buying new things to try on stage, sometimes leading to musical misfortune. Troy’s musical ability is well matched with Simp’s, causing the two to bicker over time signatures, tempos and solos on a constant basis. His temper is very slow to come, but explosive when ignited.

Fritz Martin, a well-built and handsome 24-year-old black man, is a closeted homosexual. He enjoys treating himself to fine clothes, foods and wines, but to throw his bandmates off of his sexuality, he forces boorishness in puzzling ways. He’s been known to affix a sandwich to his impressively broad shoulders while playing his bass, then turning his head to take a bite of it in the middle of a song. Fritz loves playing bass, and will do it for the rest of his life, whether it’s with this band or not. Because he is not “out”, he tends to lead a rather solitary life off-stage, where we see how difficult being gay can be in the black community.

Marjorie Clemens is the band’s agent and manager. An attractive, petite woman in her 40s, Marjorie wants more than anything to have a successful act under her management, and consequently pushes the band out of her own aspirations. She and Simp identify with each other because of this strong desire to succeed. Marjorie has a habit of taking quick, sharp breaths when she’s nervous or lying.

Dr. Samuel Wiesel is a psychologist and former college boyfriend of Marjorie’s. He’s in his late 40s, slightly paunchy, a little lonely, but very good at his job. He pronounces his name “WHYzel” and is irritated when people call him Dr. “WEAsel”. Unfortunately, that’s what pretty much everyone calls him. Sam wouldn’t exactly mind getting in Marjorie’s good graces again, and agrees to take on the band as his patients even though he’s not convinced that group therapy really works.

Pilot Synopsis

A few hours before a gig, the band is setting up their gear. Only a few words are exchanged, mostly about the play list for that night. Simp complains about always playing the same songs.

The others leave after sound check, but Simp stays behind to work out some new ideas that have been buzzing through his head. He sits alone on the stage playing guitar and writing out lyrics. J.P comes back in to grab his keys, and offers to stay and help, but Simp seems disinterested. J.P. goes back to his apartment, turns on the TV (PBS) and relaxes.

Troy goes home and practices drums.

Fritz goes to one of his favorite restaurants and notices happy couples of all kinds enjoying themselves around him.

A few hours later, the band meets up in a small backstage room and changes clothes. Simp is pushing to play his new song tonight. The others protest because they haven’t practiced it. Simp points out that they could have if they hadn’t all gone home the moment sound check was done. J.P. mentions that he offered to do just that. A big argument, a long time coming, breaks out and gets worse until Marjorie comes in, shaming them into silence. She reminds them they have ten minutes to get on stage, and tells them that she won’t be around for the show because an unexpected conference call came up. As the band takes the stage, we follow Marjorie to her office. She takes a few sharp breaths and picks up the ringing phone, identifying herself. After a few seconds of "yes" and "uh-huh", she covers the phone and takes another sharp breath. Her expression is one of utter surprise.

When the gig finishes, the band returns to their argument backstage. Simp is convinced that no one is as devoted to music as he is. The others deny it and accuse him of being obsessive and self-absorbed. J.P. compares Simp to Napoleon Bonaparte, offering historical parallels. They are all ready to call it quits for good when Marjorie thunders in again. Split Pipe records wants to meet them, she says, and it looks good. Very good. A deejay in Miami has been playing their original song, and it’s gotten the label’s attention. There is silence.

Marjorie tells them that the only way this will work is if they get past their problems. She remembers an ex boyfriend who lives in town – a talented therapist – and tells them she will set up an appointment with him immediately. Out of pure shock, the band agrees.

The next morning, they all arrive at the office of Dr. Wiesel. The band takes turns airing their complaints while the doctor listens and tries to keep control of the bickering. It’s evident he’s not keen on this, but Marjorie works the charm only an ex-girlfriend can work, and he agrees to try it long-term.